Hilary Clinton has just declared that she thinks she can beat Barrack Obama to run for president. In fact, in an interview earlier today, she said "I can wipe the floor with Obama!" Obama hopes to beat this confident, if not somewhat cocky, Hilary.

In other news: Switzerland has been officially declared a very funny name. The monkeys have taken over the rain forest and are making the ants peel bananas for a living.

In Iran, the council is pondering the thought of upgrading their computers to something more hi-tech. This is not good for the USA. The reason being that it could slip into Iraq. They will have access to better on-line stores! Oh no! Just think about it: Amazon 8.7! Bush should definitely send Cheney over to bore them to sleep and take this new computer. otherwise, thousands of troops will have worse deals than the Iraqis!

The Yankees appear to be trying to relive the pitching staff of '98. They have brought back Andy Petit and are trying their hardest to get Clemens. This will probably not happen seeing as Clemens will just "retire" again, then go back to Houston.

Men in Southern England have decided to wear kilts. This will seem wierd to the Brazilians, because they don't speak English. In fact, they might get so confused, we could start another World War! People have been thinking of a way to stop Brazil's Rage, and guess what they came up with? (Click the picture.) That's right! (If the picture doesn't show, refresh the page.)

The Yankees return! They have decided to change their name to "The New Yorkers". In an interview with head coach, Joe Torre, Sports Illustrated interviewer "John Johnson" was on his knees begging him to keep the name. By the way, Jorge Posada has a long neck.

Quote of the century: I am President Brush!
- George W. Bush (this is one of the few true things on this page.)

Person of the Year: You! (as decided by Time magazine.)